3 Ways to Protect Your Marriage During a Hectic Season

As your career grows, you’ll notice that your lifestyle starts to shift. These aren’t always bad or negative changes. You might find yourself waking up earlier, watching less TV, sticking to a checklist so that household tasks don’t fall through the cracks. Success doesn’t have to be a villain, it can be rewarding and refining.

Years ago, I read Mary Kay Ash’s autobiography, and one phrase stuck with me, even twenty years later:

“You make important what you pay attention to.”

That truth has never left me.

In the drive and pursuit of your job, career, or ministry, it’s easy for your marriage to unintentionally take a back seat. After all, you found “the one,” you’ve built a life together, and things are steady… right? But if you don’t pay attention to your marriage, if you don’t make it important you risk losing the very thing that was supposed to last longer than any promotion or position.

Here are three simple ways we’ve learned to protect our marriage during the busiest seasons of life:

1. Plan and Budget Date Nights

During one especially chaotic season, I remember staring at our calendar thinking, “How are we ever going to afford and find time for two date nights a month?”

But we decided to make it a line item in our budget. We planned for it.
We paid attention to it.

Intentionality doesn’t have to be extravagant. It just needs to be consistent. And by prioritizing each other on purpose we kept our connection strong even when everything else felt overwhelming. One week we couldn’t find a babysitter but we really just wanted to spend some time together, just talking. So we put the kids in the car and had a progressive dinner in the car! The boys were still in car seats at the time, we put in a movie and went to Outback for an appetizer then ate it in the car and talked. When we finished that, we drove over to another Applebee’s and ordered our entrees, and talked some more. The boys ate their snacks and watched a few movies in the back. I think at one point, we had to stop for a diaper change, but it was a great date night! Because, we prioritize our calendars to match what is important to us. 

2. Go to Bed at the Same Time

8 years ago, I walked into my boss’s office and said, “My job isn’t getting in the way of my marriage, but it’s about to.”

Back then, I would come home, we’d eat dinner, I’d play with my son and talk with David. Then I’d give Jack a back, put him to bed. About that time David would go to bed while I headed to the living room, opened my laptop, and kept working.

Today, things look different. We have an agreement:
At 10:00 p.m., I’ll stop writing—and he’ll put down the video games.

It’s an ongoing effort. Intentional communication. But we both know: he’s the last person I want to talk to at night, and the first person I want to see in the morning.

Sometimes we watch a show in bed. Sometimes we pray together before falling asleep. Sometimes he warms up my side of the bed while I wash my face.
Whatever the routine—we’re together.

3. Pray for Each Other

If you don’t know your spouse’s dreams—ask.
If you don’t know their goals—find out.

Nothing lifts me up more in the middle of my workday than getting a text from David that says,

“Hey babe, I love you. I prayed for you today. Can’t wait to see you tonight.”

I keep a door in my office covered in prayer requests. I don’t pray in front of it every day, but writing things down keeps them in my heart. One day, David saw a note I’d written, about a dream of his. He read it and said, “Babe… I saw what you wrote. That was so sweet that you’re praying about that for me.”

That dream didn’t mean as much to me personally, but because it mattered to him, it mattered to me. Praying for his dreams draws my heart closer to his.

It’s a lot harder to stay mad at someone when you’re bringing up their name in prayer to the God of the universe.

It’s Not Always the Job. It’s the Priorities.

Some of the hardest seasons in our marriage happened during the best seasons of our careers. It’s easy to feel like you have to choose between your job and your marriage. And maybe in your story, you’ve had to.

But in our story—it wasn’t the job.
It was our priorities.

Because when my husband saw that I wanted to be home with him…
And when I saw that he prioritized date nights and put thought into our time together…
We grew closer than we ever had before.
And our jobs? They didn’t change. We did.

Let’s Talk About It

What has helped you protect your marriage during a busy season?

Leave a comment below—or text me at 615-669-3209. If you’re in the thick of it right now, I’d love to pray for you. I know how isolating it can feel when there’s tension at home and pressure at work.

My prayer is that this article gave you a little glimmer of hope—and the courage to fight for the flame that once lit up your life.