Supporting Our Son Through Anxiety: A Journey of Faith, Parenting, and Emotional Growth

When our oldest son, Jackson, started 1st grade, he was full of excitement. He looked forward to being with his friends, starting in a new classroom. The fresh start filled him with anticipation. 

But within the first few weeks, we began to notice a shift

The First Signs of Struggle

Jackson’s excitement disappeared. Suddenly, he felt “sick” almost every day, started wetting the bed, and began having bad dreams. He would describe his grades as “terrible” or “failing,” yet when we checked, he was scoring in the 80s and 90s.

We met with his teacher, but with a full class, she hadn’t noticed any issues. We realized Jackson was getting better at hiding his feelings, especially in front of his peers. That’s when we knew intervention was needed.

Rethinking Our Parenting Style

This season required change not just for Jackson, but for us as parents. We thought we knew what his personality needed, but that was changing and we realized that our parenting style would need to change too. 

I started to realize that Jackson was filling in his own narrative where we had left gaps. A few key things became clear:

• We hadn’t communicated our expectations clearly. 
• Jackson’s internal expectations were far greater than anything we intended. 
• Our support, while present, wasn’t meeting the level he needed. 

We had grown busy and assumed what worked in the last season would carry us through the next. It didn’t. We had to become more intentional.

Practical Steps We Took to Support Jackson

1. Coffee and Hot Chocolate Talks

We created a safe space for Jackson to express himself. I gave him a notebook to jot down his thoughts and feelings during the day. When he got home, we’d sit outside on the swing and talk just the two of us, with coffee and hot chocolate in hand.

Even if he didn’t write anything that day, or even if it had been a great day, I let him know:
“I just want to spend time talking with you. I care about how your day went and how the day made you feel.”

These simple conversations helped more than we expected.

2. Daily Affirmations

One day, I asked Jackson if he ever talked to himself. He said yes. When I asked what he said, his answer stopped me cold:

“I say, I feel sick. I can’t. I’m not smart enough. It’s too hard. I just can’t.”

I held back tears and gently said:
“Those thoughts are real, but they aren’t true. God didn’t create you to feel defeated. You are made in His image.”

From that day on, we began every morning and ended every night with these affirmations:

• I am smart. 
• I am brave. 
• I am loved. 
• I am a child of God. 
• I have friends and family that love me. 
• I am confident. 

These truths became a foundation that helped strengthen his heart and mind. At night, if he was worried about a test the next day, we would go back through these again. I would ask him, “What do we know is true?” He would reply back with, “I am loved, I am confident, I have friends and family who love me.”

3. Partnering with the Teacher

We met again with Jackson’s teacher and learned that some new classroom rules were causing him distress. What helped other students was actually a stressor for Jackson.

Together, we found ways to achieve the classroom goals using approaches that worked better for him. We also arranged one-on-one time between Jackson and his teacher so he could build a personal connection and feel more comfortable. He would go to the classroom in the morning before the other students and just talk to the teacher. They didn’t always talk about school, they just talked. 

We realized much of his discomfort came from how work was assigned, bathroom breaks, and other seemingly small transitions—things that felt big to him but weren’t being verbalized.

A Deeper Understanding: Industry vs. Inferiority

Looking back, we now see that Jackson was going through a developmental phase where children begin to measure their worth through accomplishments.

David and I both knew that if we didn’t address it now, a pattern would start to form that he would carry with him into his teenage years and beyond.  That realization made us more committed than ever to support Jackson well—not just for him, but to break a generational cycle.

A Faith-Based Resource for Emotional Growth

That summer, we started going through a study built for boys his age:
Raising Emotionally Strong Boys by David Thomas.

It’s become a highlight of his day he even reminds me when it’s time to do it! This study has helped us explore what God says about emotions and the body, while also offering practical ways to manage big feelings through a biblical lens.

Final Thoughts

Helping our children navigate their emotions is sacred work. It requires intentionality, faith, and honest self-reflection as parents. By choosing connection over correction and truth over fear, we give our kids the tools to thrive in every season grounded in who they are and who God created them to be.